Natalie's Room (so far)

Natalie's Room had a big transformation this weekend. It went from white, yucky walls, to pretty green walls. It was full of junk and now it is full of her beautiful crib and dresser. I now find myself in that room many times a day just smiling, praying, and smiling some more. Here are some pictures:

Picking up the crib and dresser!

Picking out the paint color

Busy painting! He is such a hard worker!


Putting her crib together. It was surprisingly easier than we thought it would be.

Crib is all done! (Minus the matress though, which we still have to get.)

Matt put her mobile on to try out, and I was putting her bed skirt on.


Putting her valence up.


Her pretty dresser. We cannot wait until it is filled with cute pink outfits and diapers!

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We also could use some prayers - my mom is in the hospital. She fell at work on Friday and hit her head really hard and has a concussion. She has been in the hospital since and she is still really dizzy, horrible headache, not eating, and now they are concerned about her heart rate being so low. I so wish we were closer so we could go sit with her and hold her hand. Right now she needs a lot of rest, and she is trying to get that. We don't know when she will be out of the hospital, but hopefully soon. Although, if you ask her, she wants to stay in (which just goes to show that she is not feeling well at all). We are heading home Friday for a wedding... hopefully she will be out by then, but if not, we will be spending as much time as we can up at the hospital. Please pray that she feels better soon and that nothing is wrong with her heart.

Busy Beaver

I am already ready for the next two weeks to be over (for the most part). They are going to be exhausting!

I leave next Tuesday for a trip out to California for work, back on Thurs. night. Then we leave Friday for a good friend's wedding in Michigan (can't wait for that!). While there, we have a lot to do - visit with family, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and a baby shower!

Then the follow Tuesday I head out to Arizona until late on Friday night for our work conference. And in between is getting ready for the conference. But I love being busy, so it is nice. I just know how exhausted I am going to be that second weekend in October.

But for now, little girl and I are just hanging out and working - me doing stuff with email, her working on kicking and punching.

We got to pick up our crib and the dresser last Sunday. We picked out a paint color and will hopefully be painting this weekend so we can get the dresser/crib out of the way and into their new home. I cannot wait for the room to come together!!

My next appt is on Tuesday with the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor (just to make sure I am not considered high risk). Hopefully all goes well and we get the all clear from the ultrasound - but honestly, if something was wrong and they haven't called me by now (I did call to double check and they said no news was good news), then someone should expect to be punched in the head! At the minimum.

Time to get back to work. Hope you all are having a great week. It is almost Friday!

The Planners

Matt and I are planners. Always have been, probably always will be (although, my planning has temporarily slowed down after planning for Peanut and not getting to keep her, then planning for Pickle, and not realizing those dreams either....). But, anyway, the planning gene is still in there. So, Thursday, after our fantastic doctors appointment and going back to work for a little bit, we headed out. Where you ask? Well - to Babies R Us!

One of my BFFs recommended the book Baby Bargains to me, and it was fantastic (thanks Court!). While I was reading through it, I wrote down all their suggestions so we had a cheat sheet when we went to register. It was really helpful. It was so much fun to register, although, we both had to admit that we were a tad bit sad walking through the boy clothing section. Not that we aren't thrilled beyond belief that we are having a girl, we just got so used to the idea of a boy... Anyway, lots of pink and purple will be entering our lives, and we couldn't be happier. I also already ordered some bedding that I think I like (but you can never tell from pics), so waiting for that to come in, and if we like it, then we will get to painting her room.

While we were registering, we also purchased some of our big ticket items. I almost had a panic attack when they told us we could take the crib home that night (although, we couldn't because the darn box didn't fit in our car)... I was prepared for a 10-12 week wait, which is typical, and why we ordered so early... but NOPE, it is waiting at the store for us. Wow - that made it a little more real! Our dresser will be in in a week or two, so we will pick them up together. We also ordered the glider, and that will take the 10-12 weeks because it is special order (ie, didn't want the colors/fabric combos that are stocked in the store). And the little night stand will take 14-16 weeks. So crazy that the two biggest items are ready to go, and the littliest one is going to take the longest. Oh well! I would much rather have the crib and dresser early than the night stand.

We also got Natalie's first offical present (although, her sweet Aunt Lisa sent her one right when we told her we were pregnant. It is the cutest little purple shirt - but we weren't sure if baby could wear it seeing as we were convinced it was a boy). Our friends B&L sent the cutest little white boots (boots with the fur....) and some onesies and receiving blankets. Heehee! So super excited! Thanks guys!!

As you can see - we are still on cloud 9. And while the anxiety creeps in every once in a while, as soon as she kicks me, I feel a little better. And I am determined to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy as I was robbed of that in the beginning and two times before. So, if you get sick of my ramblings... too bad. :)

That's about all that is new with us right now - just bouncing on a cloud of pink and purple loveliness. :)

Have a fantastic week!

News

Well, today was the big day - the 20 week anatomy scan. And man, am I glad I went. :)

It was a long appointment - over an hour and 15 minutes. But mostly because our little one was being a stinker! That's OK with me though. I didn't get to watch as they only had one screen. But I got to watch Matt's face which was just as good. And every once in a while, they would show me something. Matt video taped it so I can still watch it later on.



So - the news - (Unofficially) a Healthy Little Girl!!!



Unofficially because the techs can't say one way or another, but two different techs gave us "unofficial, don't tell anyone we told you" results of everything looking great. Their doc looked over the report and was super happy with it. Now just waiting the Official report from my doctor. But we are still celebrating!

And after being 100% convinced that it was a boy (due to gut feelings and two intelligender tests), were were shocked to find out it was a girl. Needless to say, I broke down into tears. We would have been happy with either - but this is truly icing on the cake.

So, here she is - Miss Natalie Christine

Isn't she the most beautiful thing!? We got to see her opening and closing her mouth like a little fishy and trying to suck on her thumb.

We are over the moon in love with her, and can't wait till she is in our arms in 20 weeks!!!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day, and as I type that out, I can feel the anxiety spreading up from the pit of my stomach.

Tomorrow at 10:00 I will be laying on that dreaded bed, waiting for the gel to be put on my stomach along with that magic wand that can either make me the happiest woman on the planet, or break my heart into a million pieces all over again. I asked Matt last night if we could just not go and live in a cloud of naivity for the rest of the 20 weeks. He said no. Party Pooper.

So, instead, tomorrow at this time, I will NOT be eating my morning cereal (have you ever heard that you aren't supposed to have milk before an ultrasound? Me either - until yesterday. So weird!), and I will be be filling my bladder to the brim, breaking out into a hot sweat as I head to the hospital, and continuously praying that all we hear is "Healthy, Healthy, Healthy." And we get to walk out of there feeling a little more confident that we get to keep this little bean who loves to kick me at the weirdest times.

So, if you think about it, we could use all the prayers and positive thoughts that you have to offer.

In the meantime, I am going to pay attention and see if Walter is kicking away at his mommy, and pretend that tomorrow is just another Thursday - not one that will change my life either way.

...Oh please let it be the fantastically wonderful and much prayed for change of life... Please....


I will let you guys know as soon as I know something....

Happy (Could have been) Birthday

Happy Birthday Pickle! Today is your due date. Labor day weekend - how fitting. We thought for sure that we were going to get to hold you sometime this weekend. You were our Christmas morning miracle. But instead, you went to heaven to big with big sister. I hope she is taking good care of you up there, and you are taking good care of her. We hope you are up there celebrating some how for your could have been birthday.

Mommy and Daddy got you a cupcake and will be singing to you tonight.

We love you sweet baby!! More than words can ever say. Someday we will get to meet you again. Until then, be good, and take good care of yourself and your big sis. Look down on us from time to time if you can. And give your little sister/brother all the strength that you can to grow strong and healthy.

We love you so so much!

Love, Mommy

Same location, Different Place

I am sitting in a hotel that I have now been to twice. This current hotel room looks exactly the same as the one I was in the first time I was here. It faces the same direction, I have the same beautiful view of the ocean, every detail is the same. The last time I was here however, I was in a very different place.

We had just survived the passing of Peanut's due date (thanks to our BFF's Mike and Stacy and one fantastic cruise!). We were actually ready to start trying again, and had been (but not whole-heartedly) for a month or so. I was using Ovulation Predictor strips and also doing my temperature. I remember it as if it were yesterday. If was my first full week at my new job and I was down here on a strategic planning retreat. I was still doing my OPKs and temp even though I wasn't even close to my dear sweet hubby. And then, it happened - I got the LH surge (which meant I was about to ovulate) on Weds and I got so sad. Another month with out a baby.... Well, weird as life is, I got another surge that Friday when I was heading home to my dear husband. And that was the weekend that our sweet little Pickle was conceived. If I were reliving that week right now, it would be two days from now. Instead, I am here in reality, and instead, I am two days away from a different milestone. I am two days away from what should have been Pickle's Due date.

Our sweet littlest one, who was with us for such a short time, is due this weekend. And I have been thinking so much about that little one this week. What would have been, could have been, should have been. The hopes we had for that little one, the dreams. Our Christmas morning miracle. (That was the day we found out that I was pregnant again.)

I am not as grief stricken as I was when Peanut's due date was quickly approaching, but that doesn't mean I don't miss our little Pickle just as much. I will always wonder about that little one. There is so much we didn't know - like if it was a boy or girl. In my head, I always imagine it was a boy. That's what my gut says.

Yet, without our little Pickle (and Peanut of course), we most definitely would not be closer to getting our little Walter. I would not be sitting here in this same place, feeling the new little flutters of a baby, who wouldn't have ever come into this earth, without his two bigger siblings...

It is just so surreal to be in the same location, but so far from where I was last time I was here.