My babies like to hang on

Well, apparently both of my babies like to hang on for dear life. Peanut was diagnosed at 12 weeks with Turner Syndrome and a 0% chance of survival. She was in heart failure, her lymphatic system wasn't working... the doctor told us time and time again she would only live a few more days. She held on. We lost her at 15 weeks.

Dear Pickle is hanging on too, although not in the same was as big sis. Another ultrasound today. I offered the tech a break if she wanted it and told her I could take it from here. Anyway - things are progressing, just not as fast as every other women that goes through this. Next steps - well, first she said a D&C, but after reviewing things again, she said that we should give the Cytotec another try. So, she upped the amount and the doseage... it's gonna be a fun weekend! And I feel so bad, but we have to go back for yet another ultrasound on Monday and if all else fails, I will have a D&C that day... the day that we have been looking forward to for years... the day we find out where Matt will be doing his internship. I promised him I would make it up to him. Then we headed to the pharmacy to drop off my prescriptions and on to the lab for a lab test to see if my hCG levels are going down.

Matt thought it was a nice confirmation that our babies are definitely MY babies. As he so nicely put it in the exam room - "Well, at least we know they are yours. They don't do anything that they are told unless THEY want to do it. And they will fight it even if they know it is the right thing. You tell me to go over there - I won't go over there unless you give me a reason and I 100% agree with your reason or think it was my own idea..." Heehee - so true! Stubborn as their mommy.

I am feeling OK today. We had a great meeting last night with our SHARE group, although I got told that my aura had a bad taste to it. Not sure why the massage lady was "tasting" me... But, it was nice to be surrounded by other couples and women who nod and agree and understand. So, that has left me feeling better today. And, we are very lucky to have a personal chef who graduated from the French Culinary Institute coming over tonight to make us dinner! And to top it off, that same person is a dear friend of mine since 6th grade! So, excited about that! And then it will be time to swallow a bunch of pain killers and other fun pills and hunker down for the bumpy ride that we will be going on this weekend.

Thanks for reading and checking in on us! It means so much that you care enough to follow along with our rollercoaster ride.

Love, Katie